This is one of those obligatory ‘hey, I’m sorry if you try to read old posts and everything link-wise is terribly borked’ posts, because I’ve just canceled my old hosting plan and migrated the blog over to WordPress.com. Since fixing all permalinks isn’t the highest on my list of life priorities at the moment, that means some wonkiness will be inevitable. Not sure if I’ll be staying here indefinitely, but if your links & bookmarks point to shewhospeaks.com, you should continue to be redirected to wherever I set up blog camp for the next couple years (at least)!
Someone once called me “selfish” for not wanting to have kids. Now that I’m married, the topic comes up regularly, and my utter disinterest in bearing children seems to be offensive to a surprising number of people. It’s almost as if they view Corey’s and my very personal decision to be a criticism of their desires.
And of course, everyone wants to know why. Why not? Do you just want to focus on your career? (I do value my work, but no.) Are you one of the those people who hate children? (Also: no.)
Over the years, I’ve offered a variety of responses, but the real answer is actually rather simple: I’ve just never wanted to be a parent. I don’t think it would be fair to actively try and bring a kid into the world without wanting the whole package; parenthood is no small feat, as I’ve gotten to witness first-hand from my mother having to raise my sister and me.
The inevitable follow-up to the kids question is something along the lines of: how does Corey feel about this? Which makes me a little sad, because I think of the couples out there that have opposing stances who keep hoping that the other will change his/her mind. Luckily, Corey and I are both on the same page here.
Going back to the selfish comment, that kind of attitude is baffling to me. Why is it selfish to choose not having children since you don’t want any, but not selfish to force people into the parental role?
2011 certainly was a momentous year, one that I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to match again, though that isn’t necessarily a bad thing (usually, changes in relationship status, residency — legal and physical locale — and career all at once won’t all go in the positive direction!). I didn’t photograph nearly as much of it as I would’ve liked, but looking back through my archives, the key events were at least captured in one way or another.